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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28611543">You are not the only one</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mobeen/pseuds/Mobeen'>Mobeen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Idiots in Love, Jealous Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), M/M, Merlin Leaves Camelot (Merlin), Mutual Pining, No Incest, Oblivious Arthur, Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Pining Merlin (Merlin), Romantic Soulmates, Soul Bond, Soul-Searching, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Uther Pendragon's A+ Parenting (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:02:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,082</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28611543</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mobeen/pseuds/Mobeen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is just trying to protect Merlin. He protects Merlins from everything including himself by ignoring Merlin's status as Arthur's soulmate. What are the consequences of this stupidity?</p><p>This is my response to all the soulmate fics where Arthur just ignored Merlin until he is in control. In real life when you ignore someone, a vacuum is created and someone has to fill the vacuum. If not Arthur, then someone else will stand beside Merlin and provide the emotional support he needs. </p><p>This is my advice to all those who are in love: Don't wait. You will lose out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elena/Gwaine (Merlin), Freya/Merlin (Merlin), Freya/Morgana (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>138</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1: Merlin's POV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/6768913">Dreams Don't Turn To Dust</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodluckgettingtosleep/pseuds/goodluckgettingtosleep">goodluckgettingtosleep</a>.
        </li>

    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Merlin’s POV</h1><p>The first time Merlin dreamed about his soul mate, his soulmate was eating at a feast. The first vision is often of the soulmate is just a snippet of a few seconds.</p><p>When Merlin woke up the next morning, he was excited. His soulmate was rich and was not lacking in food and other amnesties. He was glad that his soul mate was leading a sheltered life.</p><p>When Merlin approached the breakfast table, Hunith eagerly asked, “So, did you see your soul mate, yesternight.”</p><p>Merlin dreamily nodded, “Yes. He was so hand..”</p><p>Just then the door of their cottage opened and Will flew in, “Merlin, did you dream about her last night? Were you even able to sleep? I barely winked on my 16<sup>th</sup> birthday. I was so tense.”</p><p>Merlin laughed, “Yes Will. I slept fine. I actually had a very good sleep. I also saw my soul mate. I doubt you will like him. He was rich and he was enjoying a feast.”</p><p>Will clucked, “Leave it to you to find a posh guy. Your soul mate would never allow you to do anything fun then.”</p><p>Merlin bellowed his tongue at Will and confidently said, “I will not let my soul mate change me. I will not be influenced by his wealth. I will remain who I am. I will remain true to myself.”</p><p>Will dragged Merlin into a one-handed hug and said, “I hope it is so.”</p><p>----------------</p><p>The next few dreams made Merlin swoon at the bravery of his soul mate. He was always practicing with a sword, going on patrol with the knights, or fighting bandits. One thing Merlin established pretty quickly was that his soul mate was a knight of Camelot.</p><p>When he told his mother and Will that his soul mate was a Knight in Camelot, both were worried. Hunith boldly said, “Merlin, don’t worry. Your soul mate will always be there for you. He will protect you. He will love you and cherish you. He is your soul mate. You are more important to him than any king's decree.”</p><p>Merlin and Will were pacified.</p><p>------------</p><p>Initially, both Merlin and Will had planned to go to Camelot to seek out adventure. Also, Merlin had to go to Camelot to learn under Gaius and control his magic. Additionally, Merlin wanted to become a physician as he was inspired by his mother who helped the entire village in their time of need. Thus, Gaius, his maternal uncle, Hunith’s brother was his only option for master. Will just wanted to accompany him.</p><p>Then Will also found information about his soulmate and she was a maid in Castle Essetir. This put a dampen on their plans.</p><p>Now they will have to go in opposite directions. While Merlin will seek out his fortune in Camelot, Will will head for Essetir. They wanted to leave as soon as they knew for certain the location of their soulmates, but Hunith convinced them to wait until they were at least seventeen.</p><p>------------</p><p>For the next whole year, Merlin dreamed about his soul mate every night. By the time, Merlin set foot for Camelot; he was baffled about his soulmate. His soulmate presided over the executions of sorcerers and sorceresses, he led attacks on unarmed druids and he bullied the servants in his castle. Whatever else, Merlin was not impressed by his soul mate.   </p><p>However, the Knight from Camelot was Merlin’s soulmate and Merlin would love and protect him with everything. That is what he expected in return. Merlin knew he was not desirable. He was not handsome. He was too bony and his ears were too large. He was also clumsy. He was poor but above all of this, he was a warlock. He will be burdening his soulmate with the secret of his magic and would be putting him in danger by association.</p><p>Thus, considering his own baggage, Merlin was ready to give his soulmate all the love possible in the world irrespective of whatever their personality. This was his aim. He would protect his soulmate and cherish him with every fiber of his being. If in the process, he can help his soulmate become a better person, then there was nothing amiss, Right?</p><p>His excitement increased as he got closer to the capital city of Camelot. He was now closer to his soulmate. Soon he will meet his soulmate and will be cherished. Soon he will be next to his soulmate. Soon, there will be someone who will share his burdens.</p><p>Merlin smiled and moved forward to stand in the line to enter with those who were entering the citadel.</p><p>He will find Gaius and then he will spend the rest of his time to find his soulmate.</p><p>----------------</p><p>Man plans and God changes the best-laid plans. Merlin wanted to be engulfed by his soul mate. Unfortunately, Merlin’s soul mate was Prince Arthur of Camelot. He was not any ordinary knight. Furthermore, his soulmate was either not bonded to him or was not ready to acknowledge him.</p><p>Merlin was extremely confused after their first encounter. He had just delivered some potions for Gaius and was headed back to the Gaius’ chamber when he saw his soulmate. He was bullying a servant. Merlin wanted to introduce himself to his soulmate and also stop the poor soul from being needlessly tortured, so he moved towards the training area.</p><p>He stepped forward and said, “Come on, that’s enough.”</p><p>His soulmate turned his entire attention towards Merlin. He was so dashing. Merlin beamed at him but to Merlin’s shock, his soulmate showed no recognition.</p><p>“What?” his soul mate demanded.</p><p>Merlin friendly said, “You’ve had your fun, my friend.”</p><p>His soulmate sniggered, “Do I know you?”</p><p>Merlin’s heart plummeted. His soulmate does not recognize him. Maybe if they shake hands or if he gave more details then his soulmate would recognize him.</p><p>Merlin extended his hand and said, “I am Merlin.”</p><p>His soul mate prattishly said, “So, I don’t know you.”</p><p>Merlin was now desperate but he wanted to try again, he started, “No, but..”</p><p>His soulmate did not let him continue and bickered, “And yet you called me friend.”</p><p>Well, Merlin had promised Will and Hunith that he would not let his soulmate change him. Two can play the game. Merlin was also getting angrier at the snob who was not ready to recognize his own soulmate. He condescendingly said, “That was my mistake.”</p><p>His mate answered, “Yes, I think so.”</p><p>Merlin let his frustration out, “Yeah… I’d never had a friend who could be such an arse.”</p><p>Arthur laughingly said, “Or, I who could be so stupid.”</p><p>Well, my soulmate already had a very low opinion about me. I was so lost.</p><p>We bickered some more but Merlin had lost interest. When all else was lost, he moved forward to smack his head. Maybe then his memory about his soulmate would return.</p><p>Well, for all Merlin’s effort, he was first thrown in the dungeons by his soulmate, and then he had to spend an hour in the stocks.</p><p>The only silver lining was that his soulmate was a prince and maybe he did not want to declare their relationship openly. Merlin would give Arthur the benefit of doubt and will wait until they meet privately.</p><p>----------------</p><p>Merlin’s next meeting with Arthur was in the market and it again led to some bickering and fighting. It seemed like his soulmate was dominantly establishing that he did not have any relationship with Merlin.</p><p>Then Merlin saved Arthur’s life and became his manservant. Merlin was happy. Now at least his soul mate would come clean. Merlin and Arthur will have all the privacy they need to form a bond.</p><p>Arthur did not discuss anything in private with Merlin on the first day. He forced Arthur through a drill where he kind of grilled Merlin on sword fighting. While Merlin complained, he happily endured it as it showed that his soulmate cared and wanted to equip Merlin so he could say safe. Merlin even happily tolerated the head blows as it was his soulmate and he guessed that both of them were benefitting.</p><p>Merlin was so proud of Arthur and felt his soulmate actually believed in him when at his urging, the prince bought the petition against Valiant to the King. However, Merlin felt bad when their witness died and Arthur was humiliated in front of the court. What he was not expecting was for Arthur to sack him. Merlin was Arthur’s soulmate. Arthur should have more belief in Merlin. He was even more hurt when Arthur said “I need a servant whom I can trust.”</p><p>Merlin was about to bellow that if you cannot trust your soulmate whom can you trust. However, Arthur was too angry and was not ready to hear anything.</p><p>Merlin protected Arthur to the best of his capabilities and still gave Arthur the benefit of doubt. Arthur only sacked him because he was angry.</p><p>-------------</p><p>Merlin’s trust in Arthur was once again restored when Arthur bought the Mortaeus flower to save Merlin’s life. While Merlin had drunk the poison for Arthur, Arthur had disobeyed the King to save Merlin. Merlin felt more hopeful after the incident. He was sure his soulmate will soon starting appreciating him and accept Merlin as his other half.</p><p>-------------   </p><p>Merlin found a friend in Lancelot. Once again he had someone willing to share his biggest burden, the secret of his Magic. While Merlin expected his own soulmate to assist him, acknowledge his magic, and accept him, Arthur did not. However, between Lancelot and Gaius, Merlin was grounded.</p><p>-------------</p><p>Over the year, Merlin assisted Arthur wherever he could. They destroyed the Afanc together. Merlin bargained his life for Arthur’s and in the process got the power to yield the cup of life. He saved Arthur from the sidhe Aulfric and Sophia. He forced the dragon to forge Excalibre for Arthur.</p><p>However, when after al this Arthur did not listen to him and killed the Unicorn and single-handedly bowed the seed to destroy Camelot, Merlin realized that Arthur did not view him as his soulmate.</p><p>However, Merlin’s trust in his soulmate was not so a week. He still persisted.</p><p>Merlin saved Arthur’s life and Cedric took the credit. Merlin was disgruntled but he had always protected his soula\mate from the shadows so he let it go. He just could not believe that Arthur once again threw him like an old rag. He replaced Merlin with Cedric. He appointed Cedric as his new manservant. That hurt, but Merlin would continue supporting Arthur and now he had time to focus on his apprenticeship with Gaius. In the end, Merlin had to protect Arthur from Cornelius Sigan who was possessing Cedric’s body.</p><p>Soon after Arthur fell in enthrall of Lady Vivian and under Gaius’ careful watch, his curse was broken by Gwen. Merlin never got a chance to try to break the curse. However, as Gaius ensured, Arthur must have feelings for Gwen for her to break the curse.</p><p>For the first time, Merlin seriously contemplated that maybe Merlin was Arthur’s soulmate but Arthur was someone else's soulmate.</p><p>------------</p><p>For the next two years, Merlin continued protecting Arthur. Now, Merlin, was twenty and Arthur was twenty-two. Uther was throwing one princess after another towards Arthur and it was expected that Arthur would marry with this year. The marriage was expected sooner than later.</p><p>Merlin's heart had broken. His destiny was heavier on his shoulder. His soulmate had forsaken him. Merlin could do anything for Arthur, yet, Merlin would remain a servant. He was Arthur’s servant and that was the only bond Arthur was ready to acknowledge.</p><p>At the start, Merlin was jealous. Arthur flirted with the princesses, danced with them, kissed them and there were rumors of Arthur’s sexual prowess. Merlin had stayed away from everything hoping that he would enjoy all his firsts with his soulmate.</p><p>Then as he came to know Arthur better, he started to actually fall in love with Arthur. The more he fell in love with Arthur, the more he was ready to forgive Arthur. He accepted that Arthur needed to marry, he and Camelot need a queen and heirs. He accepted that Arthur station required him to flirt and dance with the visiting nobles. The more he accepted, the less his jealousy got.</p><p>By the end of their third year of the association, Merlin had accepted that at best they could be platonic soulmates. Even though he had not lost his virginity, he gave up all expectations from Arthur. In the true meaning of the word, he set Arthur free. He would always love, protect, and cherish Arthur but he would not expect the same from Arthur.</p><p>-------------   </p><p>Merlin saved Freya from a bounty hunter. Soon after Freya reveals that she is a bastet. She was cursed to turn into a monster and kill people at night. Merlin felt sorry for her.</p><p>On the third night, while Merlin was trying to protect her, she turned. Merlin was able to control her beast and she stayed with Merlin throughout the night. The next morning she hugged Merlin and said that it was the best night of her life.</p><p>Merlin skipped his duties the next morning and stayed with Freya. For the first time in his life, he felt a connection. There was a human being who wanted Merlin. Freya was very different from Arthur. While Arthur was independent and wanted nothing from Merlin, Freya was dependent and wanted everything from Merlin.</p><p>That night he told Gaius that he was leaving with Freya. Gaius disbelievingly asked, “What of your destiny?”</p><p>Merlin calmly said, “Oh, I am not forsaking it. I am just agoing until I can break Freya’s curse. We will return. Have no doubt.”</p><p>Gaius was despondent but he understood. The master knew that Merlin was burdened. Since he had killed the Sidhe Aulfric and Sophia, and the High Priestess Nimeuh, Merlin was feeling guilty. His soul was heavy. He needed to feel human again and only a caring human could do it. Gaius could not be what Merlin wanted.</p><p>Merlin and Freya left that night. Merlin knew he could not bring Freya to Ealdor. He would not expose his friends and family to the danger. They needed an isolated area so that Merlin could properly ward it and then protect Freya and the others while he worked on breaking the curse.</p><p>They settled on one of the slopes of a mountain. They were truly alone. The closest village was two days walk from them. Merlin used his magic to make a hut and then he and Freya started building a life. He made wards and ensured that Freya could not leave the region. While this was another type of prison, Freya was happy.</p><p>Soon Merlin and Freya got closer.</p><p>-----------------    </p><p>A year passed before they knew it. Merlin missed Arthur but he was happy with Freya. He had already set Arthur free and was sure that Arthur would have married by now. Merlin had not heard any news about Arthur for a year, even the village that he frequented was so far from the capital that news was rare.</p><p>Merlin had subdued Freya’s beast. As long as Freya was with Merlin, her beast would be tame. No longer did it require active magic from Merlin. The two of them could sleep at the same time. It was not ideal as Merlin slept with a huge dog rather than his wife, but still, he and Freya were happy.</p><p>Wife, well when Freya became pregnant, Merlin proposed. He did not want his children to be born out of wedlock. Freya was six months pregnant and Merlin was thrilled. He knew, he had to bring his mother soon but he was close to a breakthrough and wanted to ensure that Freya’s bastet would remain safe for his mother as well.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2: Arthur's POV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One day Arthur woke up to find that the sun had lost its brightness, the fields were no longer lush green but dull, the laughter in Camelot city had lost spark, and more of all every day had become a burden. It was a normal day like any other. Well, not so normal but still not extraordinary.</p><p>Merlin had not attended him the previous day so Arthur was hoping to wake up to Merlin’s cheerful “Rise and Shine!”. He was hoping to banter and enjoy Merlin’s wit. However, Merlin did not arrive for work. Gaius sent a note that Merlin was indisposed. Arthur’s mood plummeted. Two days without Merlin seemed like a tall order.</p><p>By day's end, he was cornered by Lord Mathias who was the custodian of the castle.</p><p>“Sire, I wanted to discuss the replacement of your manservant.”</p><p>“Why do you want to replace Merlin? I am content with his service.”</p><p>“Sire, Merlin left Camelot. He had given his resignation.”</p><p>“He still has to complete the month to be paid.”</p><p>“Merlin said, it was okay. He waved off his salary and as per my knowledge he left the capital yesternight.”</p><p>“He left?”</p><p>“Yes, sire.”</p><p>Arthur felt gloom. “Send anyone. I don’t have a preference,” he sternly said as he started moving towards Gaius’ chamber.</p><p>Gaius was busy with a patient so Arthur barged into Merlin’s room. It was bare. Everything that belonged to Merlin was gone. It finally settled in his bones, his body started aching and he started crying.</p><p>His soulmate had left him.</p><p>-----------</p><p>The next few days were torture. He could not do anything without remembering his soulmate. He went for training and there was Merlin standing over there telling him that he never had a friend who was an ass.</p><p>Arthur remembered the day vividly when he met Merlin. The stupid, courageous fool had told Arthur to stop his bulling. Arthur had recognized his soulmate at first glance. Merlin was more adorable, hotter, and sexier in person. The dreams did not do him justice.</p><p>However, Arthur was surrounded by his knights. He could not let the secret out. He could not hug Merlin as he wanted to. He just could not move forward and kiss his soulmate. He could not even shake his hand.</p><p>No one could know. Well, how could they? Arthur had already told everyone that his soulmate was a princess. Over the years he had boasted about his perfect soulmate. A beautiful princess who was every man’s dream and who was a role model for chivalry and gentleness. How could he let them know that his soulmate is a peasant? If the difference of class was not enough, his soul mate was a magic wielder. He was everything that Arthur’s father, the King, detested.</p><p>So for Merlin’s life, Arthur decided that he would play the game. He would hide his connection with Merlin until he controlled all the cards. He did not even let Merlin know.</p><p>Over the next few years, they grew closer, became best friends even, though Arthur always tried to keep a distance between them by being extra rude. He saddled Merlin with extra work that the prince knew his servant didn’t like doing. Arthur told himself that he did it to protect Merlin, but the truth was that Arthur was also protecting himself.</p><p>Arthur loved Merlin. He’d started caring about him long before he’d met him, and it hadn’t taken long for him to fall in love once they’d met and Merlin had become his manservant. And even though it was supposed to be foretold, to Arthur it still felt like he fell in love with Merlin because he was Merlin. It never felt like he’d been forced to love him, on the contrary even. Despite everything, it had somehow still felt like a choice. Merlin was wonderful in his very own way, and even if Arthur hadn’t started dreaming about him when he’d turned 16, he still felt like he would’ve chosen Merlin, and he still would’ve fallen in love with him. He felt soppy and pathetic for even thinking it, but it was still the truth, and it made Arthur wonder. He wondered if those dreams were never truly foreseeing the future, but giving a suggestion, like a push in the right direction.</p><p>However, to keep Merlin safe Arthur was ready to do anything. He mastered the art of flirting. No one could ever guess that his heart was never in it. Arthur ensured that his female companions enjoyed their time. He would woo them, he would gift them, he would kiss them and he might even fondle, but he never allowed them to take more. That was only Merlin’s right. One day, he will pluck his courage and enjoy a few hours with Merlin. However, until then he would protect what belonged to Merlin.</p><p>Not that it mattered. Merlin understood. At first, Merlin used to show his jealousy. Arthur could read it in his eyes, the venom he spouted or the angry glares he sent, but then Merlin understood what Arthur was doing. He stopped being petty and he even encouraged Arthur. Arthur was blessed that his soulmate was so understanding.</p><p>Arthur knew he will have to marry. However, royal marriages have been known for their convenience. His wife will be the Queen that Camelot needs. Arthur and his wife will never share the same chamber. She will have her own space. She will only have one duty and that will be to provide an heir and then, Arthur will dedicate all his nights to Merlin.</p><p>Arthur was glad that Merlin understood the dynamics. Arthur had himself told Merlin so. It was an odd discussion. It was the only time Arthur mentioned soulmates in Merlin’s presence. While Merlin was understanding, Arthur did not want to run their lack of relation in Merlin’s face.</p><p>Merlin was cleaning his armor and humming to himself when he suddenly said, “Arthur, will you get married soon?”</p><p>Arthur knew he was going to break Merlin’s heart but he snarled, “Yes, I have to. The members of the royal family marry to benefit their country. With my marriage, Camelot will become stronger. Most marriages in the royal family are for convenience as the groom and bride ensure the safety of their people.”</p><p>Merlin was thoughtful for a few minutes and then he said, “Oh! I thought you would marry for love. Gwen will be heartbroken.”</p><p>Arthur had no idea why Gwen will be heartbroken if Arthur doesn’t marry for love. If it was up to Arthur, he would have married Merlin. Propriety and rules be damned. He loved Merlin and that was all that mattered. But he was not the King and he must protect Merlin with everything he had, so he would marry the highest bidder. Arthur got angry at this thought and lashed out, “Love and soulmates are for commoners. The royal family has no need for such frivolities.”</p><p>Merlin had looked at him sadly and then returned to cleaning the armor. He had not spoken anything for the rest of the night but the message was delivered.</p><p>--------------</p><p>Arthur knew Merlin protected him. Even when Arthur discredited Merlin, Merlin had stood up to protect him. While Arthur never asked, he never voiced it, he knew. He knew that magic was protecting Camelot. Ever so often when there was a gap in logic and a powerful opponent destroyed, Arthur knew Merlin had saved the day.</p><p>Arthur could not appreciate it. He could not acknowledge it. He could not even voice it. Arthur knew Merlin found secret keepers in Lancelot and Gaius, maybe even Gwaine but not Arthur. Arthur was not a good soulmate but his entire focus was on protecting Merlin from his father and his father’s court. Arthur would kill Uther if he ever tried to harm Merlin and thus it was essential that Merlin appears like a non-entity. Therefore, Arthur made Merlin the most overworked and badly treated servant in the royal household.</p><p>Every day Arthur promised himself that one day he will award Merlin, one day he will ensure that everyone in Camelot will know Merlin’s worth, one day he will pamper Merlin, and one day he would ensure that Merlin stood as his equal.</p><p>-----------------</p><p>Three of the worst years of Arthur’s life have passed. Merlin had truly left. He had not returned even for a visit. While a part of Arthur was happy that Merlin was away from Uther’s clutches, he was also despondent that Merlin was away from Arthur.</p><p>Arthur had tried to track Merlin, Arthur had even gone to Ealdor but he could not find any sign of Merlin. Even Merlin’s mother did not know about his whereabouts.</p><p>Life was continuing as usual. Bandit attacks, patrols, run-ins with rogue sorcerers, knight training, and feasts, everything was the same. Yet, nothing held meaning. For the first time in his life, he was formed to admit that something was more important for him than Camelot or his father. Arthur was totally doomed.</p><p>Arthur was heading towards Gaius’ chamber again. He had stretched his muscle while training and it was getting difficult to breathe. He had not paid heed to Gaius' earlier warning and had not let his fractured lung heal properly before resuming practice. The training was the only part of his life that kept the hurt away. He needed to train as he needed oxygen otherwise the desolation of not having Merlin around would eat him away.</p><p>He entered Gaius chamber. Gaius was not there but someone else was there. Someone who tensed when he saw Arthur. Arthur could do nothing but gasp. He could not believe it. He had to pinch himself otherwise how can he be certain of this. Was this another figment of his imagination? Had not envisioned this scene thousands of times over the last three years? Was this really it?</p><p>He stumbled forward. He had to be sure. Before he could reach the magnet which was pulling the prince towards him, the other person beamed at him, “Arthur, it's so good to see you. I was going to come and visit you in a few hours. I thought you might have a few minutes after your dinner to fit me in.”</p><p>Arthur would have given every second of every minute of his life to this beautiful gorgeous soul. However, now Merlin was back, he had to restrain himself. He controlled the urges of his body and mind and nodded, “Yes, Merlin. I will wait for you. I will order dinner for two. Join me. I would like to know why you felt the need to leave the city for three years without informing me.”</p><p>Merlin grinned at him, “Sure, sire. I would like to know about what happened in your life too. I was too far away and I missed you.”</p><p>Even with all his restraint, he could not help replying, “I missed you too.”</p><p>Immediately Merlin’s face shined. He looked elated and satisfied. Like some piece of the puzzle fit into its slot. Then he looked at Arthur in concern, “What happened? Why were you looking for Gaius?”</p><p>Arthur shrugged, “I had some shoulder ache. I just wanted some massage oil.”</p><p>Merlin looked around for some time while muttering, “Why did Gaius have to change the place of everything in the last three years? This is so confusing.”</p><p>Arthur tried to appease him, “Don’t worry, I will wait for Gaius.”</p><p>He shook his head, “Its not a worry. I have to learn the new placement anyway. I am going to be Gaius apprentice now I am back. I hope to complete my training. Also, you should not have to wait. Give me a minute.”</p><p>He dived back into the potions and oils and a few minutes later he picked up an oil bottle in triumph, “Found it. It seems like Gaius rearrange all his bottles in alphabetical order with the dominant name of the lead ingredient. Very impressive for someone like Gaius with years of information but it would put anyone who has not learned the potions Encylopedia in trouble. Thank God, I memorized the book while I was away. Not that I had much to read. I had only five books with me, and I kind of memorized all five.”</p><p>Merlin could continue this monologue for hours and Arthur could hear him the whole day. Just this once, he wanted to hear this beautiful voice. He was not going to stop Merlin. However, while he was lost in Merlin’s voice, Gaius returned and said, “Very impressive Merlin. That was my hope when I gave you those five books. I knew if I know you, you would spend some time on those books and keep abreast with your training.”</p><p>Merlin moved towards Arthur, “Arthur, I will apply the oil,” while his attention was on Gaius, “Yes Gaius, I kept working on everything you taught me. I spent a few hours every day with books.”</p><p>Arthur mumbled, “No need. I will apply it in my room.”</p><p>Merlin scolded, “What nonsense. I will apply it. You won't even be able to reach the sore spots. You have never been able to anyway. I had to do it in the past as well.” Then without taking explicit permission from Arthur he started removing Arthur’s armor.</p><p>Gaius smiled at Merlin and continued their previous discussion, “I was hopeful. I never thought you would memorize the five books. That places you abreast with some of the best potioneers and physicians in the field. I only know three others who had learned all five books and two of them are royal physicians.”</p><p>Arthur looked at Gaius as his voice had a dreamy quality when Merlin gulped and said, “Gaius, Alice memorized the books. I hope I could meet her. You two are such a gifted pair. If only..”</p><p>Then as if Merlin had realized whose shirt he was removing, he immediately stopped talking and then after a moment changed the topic, “There was a village about two days walk from where I was living. I used to go there monthly to get supplies. In my second month, while I was in the village, a child broke his arm. I made some poultice and gave a specific prescription for his care. While the people were skeptical on that day but when I returned a month later, it was like a door has been barged open. They bought me fifteen sick people whom they were not able to help. I spent three days in the village. They needed so much help. Two of those patients would have died if they did not get proper attention.”</p><p>Merlin was now applying the oil on Arthur’s shoulder. He was so lost in the touch, it was hard for him to follow the conversation.</p><p>Gaius was speaking something and then Merlin replied, “I became their unofficial healer. I went to twice a month and by the end of the first-year patients from three or four nearby villages would be waiting for me.”</p><p>Arthur inquired, “You must be making a lot of money?”</p><p>Merlin shrugged, “I was learning. I did not charge.”</p><p>Gaius proudly said, “That’s my boy. I would have been disappointed if you had charged while you were still an apprentice.”</p><p>Merlin got embarrassed, “Gaius, I did not charge anything does not mean I did not get compensated. I would pay for the grocery and somehow if I bought a kilo of wheat, the bag attached on my horse would have three kilos of wheat. Even when I refused, they found other ways. In the end, I was paid in kind. For an apprentice, I was living a life of luxury. I would say, I was making more than I made as Arthur’s servant and that is saying something as my position is the second-highest paid amongst servants.”</p><p>Gaius nodded, “The payment in kind is the love of the people. One should never expect it and refuse it as often as possible but one should not break their heart as well. I am sure you balanced the two marvelously.”</p><p>Merlin sighed, “I tried. I could not help thinking I was ripping them off so I spent more time on the books and memorized every word so I could help them better. They had reduced my financial burden so I could focus on the study.”</p><p>Then Merlin turned to Arthur, “All done sire. Though there is some bruising close to your ribs. Care to tell me why you are training when your ribs are injured and you did not give them proper time to heal?”</p><p>Arthur spluttered at Merlin’s dominant tone. It was so enticing. No one talked to Arthur with such confidence. Arthur shrugged, “I have duties.”</p><p>Merlin nodded in understanding, “In that case, I will have to report this to the King. If you do not take care, the rib wound can fester and become dangerous.”</p><p>Arthur glared at Merlin, “How dare you challenge my authority?”</p><p>Merlin cheekily said, “You know how many grownups I had to treat like children, how many times I had to go in front of the town’s leader and complain about a man or woman who was not ready to heed my advice?”</p><p>Arthur was looking at Merlin in amazement. Merlin had really grown in confidence over the last few years.</p><p>Arthur challenged, “Why do you care? Your work is to proscribe medication and it is the patient's job to follow your advice.”</p><p>Merlin grimly said, “I hate it when something small becomes so big even deadly. I lost a mother of five when she did not heed my advice. She died in my hands when if she had followed the advice, she would have been good as new within a month. Now I treat the patients as lousy children. If they are not ready to hear, I will find someone who can make them heed my warning and follow my advice.”</p><p>Gaius muttered, “Your patients would not have liked that?”</p><p>“Oh, they did not. Many refused to come to me. I was okay with that. If they wanted to suffer, they should not make me suffer. In the end, they had bow down. Once they saw how I worked, my advice was heeded. I did not pull my punches. So, are you going to stop training over the next week or should I seek out the king?”</p><p>Arthur did not like the challenge and snarled, “My father would not listen to a peasant.”</p><p>Merlin sadly said, “In that case, I would like Camelot and look for a master elsewhere. I don’t want to suffer under stubborn leaders. A man’s life is more important than his duties. A healthy person is more useful to the kingdom than a sick one.”</p><p>Gaius looked impressed and softly said, “You can deal with the impertinent knights.”</p><p>Merlin said, “Either the King would accept that healthier knights can perform their duties better or I would not treat his knights until they are on death's door. They can suffer all they want.”</p><p>Gaius said, “Half those men would prefer to suffer.”</p><p>Merlin bitterly said, “Yes, they would suffer from pains, not give their full attention in fights, and die at hands of nameless bandits. That’s what Camelot needed. That is their loyalty to the Kingdom.”</p><p>Arthur was shocked at the bitterness in Merlin’s voice and said it should not be so drastic.</p><p>Merlin shook his head and morosely said, “Arthur, you are the prince of Camelot and you keep telling me that you will be ready to give up everything to protect Camelot and ensure its stability. That is your love and loyalty to Camelot. You have paid for that loyalty and your knights should also be ready to show their loyalty to Camelot.”</p><p>Arthur nodded. While the reasoning was valid, Arthur did not want his father to get involved in his business. He yielded and promised Merlin that he will not resume training until he got a go-ahead from Gaius. Satisfied with the promise, Merlin beamed at Arthur and promised to meet him for dinner.</p><p>Arthur left. His mood was much better than it had been in days.</p><p>-------------   </p><p>Merlin arrived for the dinner and the two sat down to share a warm meal. Arthur wanted to hear more about Merlin’s activities over the last three years and during the meal the discussion was kept light. Once they had eaten and Arthur’s latest manservant had taken the dishes away, Arthur nonchalantly inquired, “So, why did you leave?”</p><p>Merlin took a long breath and said, “Someone needed me. I needed a change. I was drowning. I was turning into something I was not and was suffering. I had to leave or I would have irrevocably changed.”</p><p>Arthur chimed, “That is extremely vague.”</p><p>Merlin laughed, “I can offer you only general reasons without going into specifics. You could say that I was drowning at that time and had to leave.”</p><p>Arthur did not want to push. Now was not the time. They will get time in the future when Arthur will push.</p><p>Then Merlin asked, “I was expecting you would be married by now. Why did you not marry?”</p><p>Arthur shrugged and said, “No one caught my fancy.”</p><p>Merlin nostalgically said, “Oh, what happened? The Arthur I knew chased after skirt with a relish. He could not keep his hands to himself and here you are telling me that no one caught your fancy over three years. We have to change that soon.”</p><p>Arthur angrily said, “You are in a hurry to get me married.”</p><p>Merlin looked at him in the eye for a second and then shrugged, “So, are you bullying your manservants?”</p><p>Arthur hopefully asked, “Is that your way of asking for your old position back?”</p><p>Merlin shook his head, “Oh, no. I don’t want my old position back. I don’t think I am a good fit for it. I am going to focus on my apprenticeship. Gaius needs me.”</p><p>Arthur felt his heartbreaking. Merlin did not want to spend time with him. He hopefully asked, “You won’t miss the excitement of travel?”</p><p>Merlin grinned, “Oh, you know I was talking to Gaius and he said that when he was an apprentice, he used to follow Uther around everywhere. Well, it is a custom that the prince’s patrol, hunt, or delegation party would have a physician’s apprentice.”</p><p>Arthur inquired, “But I never had one?”</p><p>Merlin sagely nodded, “Well, you see Gaius was training one of his apprentices for this task specifically. However, by the time you were knighted, one of his apprentices was killed by Bandits and the other got seriously hurt so could not follow you around. He did not have time to train another so you had to do with me. That is part of the reason the King allowed me to accompany you everywhere. Even if I was new, I was a physician’s apprentice.”</p><p>Arthur was happy that at least when they will leave the castle, Merlin would be with him. Soon after that discussion, Merlin took his leave.</p><p>---------------</p><p>Arthur did not see Merlin the next day or even the day after. However, he was content. Merlin was in Camelot.</p><p>By careful maneuvering, Arthur was able to force part of his old duties on Merlin. The next week when Arthur did not meet Merlin at all for the entire week, he knew he had to change something. Arthur pondered over it for days and then had a perfect plan. It was a win-win for everyone.</p><p>He invited Merlin for dinner and then arranged it such that he started scolding his manservant for not doing his duties properly. He saw how agitated Merlin was and then he played his card, “Merlin, you will help this fool. He will be under you. You will discuss my daily schedule with him. You will wake me up and serve me dinner but apart from that you will supervise this fool and the other dunderheads that serve me.”</p><p>Merlin quietly said, “Arthur, I cant…”</p><p>Before Merlin could dissent, Arthur shouted, “You will take over this duty. I will talk to Lord Mathias and set you in charge of my household until I marry. Until I get married, you will be in charge of all my affairs. It is final and I don’t want any argument.”</p><p>Merlin sighed and acquiesced but he still complained, “Why do I have to get you up or serve you dinner. That is the manservant's job.”</p><p>That was just the start of Arthur’s plan. Arthur sagely said, “The breakfast and dinner were briefing times. I will brief you about my day's plan and you will deliver your reports during this time.”</p><p> Merlin did not look happy but said, “Well, in that case, I will wake you and debrief you while you get ready and have breakfast. Dinner is not possible. I have other duties.”</p><p>Arthur was happy that he had reeled in Merlin in the first part of his plan. He conceded to breakfasts. The dinner would come soon.  </p><p> ---------------</p><p> “Rise and Shine.”</p><p>Arthur resisted. He wanted to tease Merlin and feel the old playfulness. Merlin was soon pulling his blanket from his head. “Get up Arthur.”</p><p>Arthur growled but got out. It's been too long since his soulmate woke him up. He knew his day would be better than any other he had in the last three years even when he was not allowed to train.</p><p>Merlin moved towards his cupboard and started selecting clothes for him. His manservant entered the room with Breakfast. Arthur glared at the boy. He only bought one plate when Arthur specifically told him to bring two. Merlin interpreted the look and smilingly said, “Thanks for the offer of breakfast but I have already eaten. You should eat it now.”</p><p>Arthur ate his food half-heartedly. He wanted to eat with Merlin but Merlin was being difficult. He listed a few jobs for the day while Merlin heard him with rapt attention then wrote something on a piece of paper before tearing the paper into four pieces and said to the boy, “These are your chores apart from the regular ones.” Then he pointed to the other lists and said “This you will give to the chambermaid, this to the stable master, and this to the kennel in charge. Tell everyone I will be around sometime today to ensure compliance.”</p><p>Then Merlin smiled at Arthur and said, “Thank you, Sire. Now I must be going. I have some other duties.”</p><p>Merlin left and this became the new norm. Though Arthur could not convince Merlin to share his breakfast with him, Arthur had Merlin to himself for an hour every day.</p><p>----------</p><p>Another change Arthur saw after Merlin returned was the close bond of friendship that developed between Morgana and Merlin. While Merlin spent an hour with Arthur, he was always with Morgana. Arthur let it go for the first few times but then it got impossible to ignore. The two of them were always together. If Arthur went to Gaius’ chamber Morgana was there. On one pretext or another, she was with Merlin and Gaius. Then there were the days in which he saw Morgana and Merlin leaving the castle together. He even found them strolling in the market.</p><p>The more Arthur saw their close bond of friendship, the more jealous he got. More often than naught, Morgana and Merlin would eat their lunch together in Gaius’ Chamber. Arthur had caught them himself on random days throughout the week. Arthur was especially angry as Merlin refused to eat with him.</p><p>It was like Merlin was Morgana’s soulmate and not Arthur’s. During one night while Arthur was flirting with Princess Dalia from Cambria, she haughtily said, “Why is the ward of the King surrounded by peasants and commoners?”</p><p>Arthur scanned the room and found Morgana. She was standing next to Sir Lancelot. Gwen was standing between Lancelot and Merlin and next to Merlin was another beautiful peasant whose hand Morgana was steadfastly holding.</p><p>When Arthur did not reply, Dalia said, “Throughout the feast, Morgana has stood with that group. She is not even trying to pretend.”</p><p>Once his gaze was directed towards them, Arthur could see their closeness. Morgana left for one song with a Lord’s son and returned to the group. They stood as if they were Morgana’s aides but Morgana was not their mistress. Sometimes Gwen and Lancelot, and Merlin and the other girls would join the other dancing couples but then they would faithfully return to their corner.</p><p>Before the feast ended all five of them left together. What struck Arthur the most was that not even once did Merlin search out for him or look towards him. While Arthur knew that Merlin knew about the need for Arthur to play the game to protect Merlin, it still stung. Merlin could have been a bit more responsive to his soulmate.</p><p>Arthur drank more and was occupied with his dark thoughts throughout the night. It was as if Merlin did not realize that Arthur was his soulmate. Arthur knew Merlin knew about their bond. He had felt Merlin’s jealousy over the females Arthur used to fawn over. He also knew the fond almost worshipful ways Merlin used to look at him. He just could not put his finger on it but he felt dread in the pit of his heart. He just could not help feeling that something had gone wrong in his relationship with Merlin which had deteriorated and was almost non-existent since Merlin left three years ago. Even after his return, he was closer to Morgana, to Gwen, to Lancelot, and to Gwaine than with Arthur. All those things had been in the past. Since Merlin returned, he had not had the same relationship with Arthur. He did not look at Arthur like that. He just could not wait to escape Arthur’s presence.</p><p>He needed to inquire from Merlin. Why was he ignoring Arthur like this? If Arthur was not drunk he would never have considered this line of thought. He would have crushed this jealousy he was feeling before it took root as such information in the wrong hands could get Merlin killed. However, a drunk Arthur was an irrational Arthur. He needed to talk to Merlin and he did not stop to consider the time of the night. He jumped out of his bed, hastily put on a robe, and started briskly walking towards Merlin’s room in Gaius’ chamber.</p><p>When Arthur reached the chamber, the door was locked. He banged on the door until Gaius opened it.</p><p>Gaius worriedly inquired, “Sire, is everything okay? How can I help you?”</p><p>Arthur haughtily said, “I need to talk to Merlin immediately. I will just go to his room and talk with him.”</p><p>Gaius looked at him and then released a sigh, “Sire, you are drunk. You know Merlin don’t reside in these chambers any home. He has a house in the lower town.”</p><p>Arthur demanded, “When did Merlin move? Why did he move? Why does he need to have a house so far from the castle?”</p><p>Gaius ignored his question and said, “Sire, can you come in. A bit of water can help you. I will answer all of your questions.”</p><p>Then the physician moved towards his table and fumbled through his potions before picking one up. He walked back to Arthur who had sat down on the bed that used to belong to Merlin in the small attached room. He held out the potion to Arthur, “Drink this, you will feel better and will be able to understand what I am saying.”</p><p>Arthur gulped the potion and was asleep in minutes. The last thought before he slept was, ‘Damn, Gaius had drugged me.’</p><p>When Arthur woke up after a peaceful sleep, he did not pursue any of the dark questions that were eating him away while he was drunk. In Uther’s reign, both Merlin and Arthur have the freedom to do what they want to protect Merlin. Once Arthur was crowned, he will ensure Merlin was closer to him.</p><p>------------  </p><p>Arthur loved hunting. There were two reasons for his love for hunting and for the increased frequency of such hunt parties that he led. One was the obvious thrill and the freedom of hunting. The other was more complicated. Since Merlin as the Physician’s apprentice had to join his hunt parties, it meant that Merlin was with him throughout the journey.</p><p>On the first hunt, after Merlin returned, he had expected Merlin to ride beside him and keep Arthur occupied with the continuous banter. However, it was not so. Arthur soon found out that if the hunting party included other knights, then Merlin would stick with his friends rather than ride beside Arthur. So, slowly he started ensuring that Lancelot or Gwaine were otherwise occupied when he left for hunts, but that did not stop Merlin. He stuck to Percival's side and next time he was chattering with Sir Geriat. Essentially Merlin would talk to anyone besides Arthur.</p><p>After the fifth such disastrous hunting trip, Arthur realized that if he wanted Merlin’s undivided attention he would have to leave his knight behind. So, Arthur made plans in which each month he would go for a longer hunting trip with his knights and a slightly shorter hunting trip with Merlin, just the two of them. It was during such  trips without the knights that Merlin came closest to his old self. He bickered with Arthur, he pushed Arthur and he fawned over Arthur. Arthur missed this. These interactions were the guarantee he had that Merlin knew his game plan and was not only okay with it but agreed with Arthur.</p><p>On one such trip when Arthur and Merlin were supposed to be hunting, well yes supposed to be as on such trips all of Arthur’s attention was on Merlin and not on the hunt, they were attacked by bandits. Well, nothing new there, they were attacked at least once each trip but this time things were different. While Arthur was daydreaming about Merlin while he was supposed to be setting up camp, Merlin had gone to collect water. Arthur heard Merlin scream and rushed in his direction only to find a bandit’s knife around Merlin’s neck. Merlin would have thrown the bandit away but these bandits have found a way to overpower him as Merlin was unconscious. This worried Arthur and thus when he started moving towards the bandit, the leader spoke, “Prince Arthur Pendragon, drop your sword. If you as move or attack any of my men, I will butcher your manservant. His life depends on you know.”</p><p>If Merlin was any other servant and Arthur was any other prince, he would have run away to keep his kingdom safe. However, Arthur’s soulmate’s life was in danger so Arthur dropped his sword and yielded. A few bandits moved closer, one picked up his sword and the other tied his hands. Then they made Arthur follow them to their hideout, an old abandoned castle.</p><p>The bandits were idiots. The thought that by dragging Arthur like a prisoner, they were crushing his pride. On the other hand, he left clues for his knights. When Arthur and Merlin did not return to the castle in two days, a search party would be sent and they would quickly find them with all the clues Arthur left for his trackers.</p><p>He was thrown in the dungeon of the unstable castle with his manservant who was still unconscious. One of the bandits stood guard outside their door. Arthur was shackled to one side of the room and Merlin on another. Arthur was satisfied that Merlin was breathing and would wake up soon. Though he could not touch Merlin, the rise and fall of Merlin’s chest was a surety that Merlin was alive.</p><p>Merlin woke up a few hours later. He was groggy and hissed when he felt the cold iron shackles around his hands. Then he inquired, “Arthur are you okay? How did you get caught?”</p><p>Arthur replied, “They, had you. I had to surrender.”</p><p>Merlin snarled, “Are you an idiot. They had me so you should have left. Gone back. If you had time, you should have returned with some knights to release me. Now you are in danger.”</p><p>Arthur pointedly negated, “I could never leave you.”</p><p>Merlin shouted, “You stupid man, I know you follow the Knight's code to the t, but sometimes you have to consider your position. A fallen servant is not worth the life of a prince.”</p><p>Arthur hotly said, “You are not a servant.”</p><p>Merlin turned his face away but Arthur could still see anger on it which was directed towards Arthur.</p><p>Hours later, well technically the next day, the bandits returned. Merlin demanded, “What do you want with us?”</p><p>One of them bloated, “Now that we have Prince Arthur of Camelot, we can find out the layers of security around the treasury and how to infiltrate.”</p><p>They were moving towards Arthur when Merlin said, “Arthur, don’t worry. Don’t say anything. These bandits are fools. They have your manservant who has as much information as you do and they think it will be easier to break you than your manservant. Fools, I tell you.”</p><p>Arthur shouted, “Shut up, Merlin.”</p><p>However, the damage had been done. The bandits ignored Arthur and dragged Merlin away. They did not return him for some time. Each minute felt like an hour to Arthur. When Merlin was returned, he was barely conscious but he grinned at Arthur before he passed out. Day in and day out, the bandits would take Merlin away and only return him hours later. Arthur could see that Merlin was sinking. He was tortured for hours and yet every time he returned to the cell he would smile at Arthur. It was a victor’s smile, and it was a satisfied grin.</p><p>Arthur hated the smile. For Merlin, it represented his loyalty to Camelot to Arthur. Even after four days of continuous torture, they had not been able to break Merlin. The satisfaction was of keeping his soulmate safe. Merlin had protected Arthur with his body, by taking the torture meant for Arthur on himself. However, Arthur was not happy. He could see that his soulmate was draining away and if this continued soon Merlin will die. Furthermore, Arthur could not even do a thing to protect Merlin. He could not even hold his soulmate as Merlin was thrown in the dark damp cell night after night.</p><p>On the fifth day, before the bandits could come and take Merlin away, Arthur heard the clanging of swords. How arose in Arthur’s chest. At last, his knights have found them. Merlin would not be tortured anymore. As expected, a few minutes later, Leon barged into their cell. He killed the bandit that stood guard outside and took the keys. He unshackled Arthur who ran towards Merlin.</p><p>Merlin was still asleep but he kept repeating ‘not Arthur’. Arthur’s heart swelled at the love and protectiveness his soulmate had for him. However, he had to take Merlin to Gaius as soon as possible. He picked up Merlin and started moving towards the door however four days of starvation caught on. He felt lightheaded. When Leon moved forward, Arthur carefully handed over Merlin to him and ordered “Take him to Gaius immediately.”</p><p>It seemed that no one was respectful of his position anymore. Leon ignored him and helped Arthur up the stairs. Soon the other knights joined them. They were in a festive mood and wanted to camp out for the day. Arthur disabused all such notions and told the knights that they need to return to Camelot as soon as possible. When Lancelot, Percival, and Gwaine saw Merlin’s condition, they took him and left.</p><p>Arthur was left behind with Leon, Elyan, Kay, and Bedivere. The four knights refuse to budge until Arthur had eaten something and rested for the day. The fools did not understand that being away from Merlin was causing him fear and anxiety. However, he once again relented. He could not even let his knights see the love he had for Merlin.</p><p>------------</p><p>When Arthur reached the castle, he had to meet his father. Morgana was worried about him and half the lords of Camelot had to meet him and assure his safety. The worst part was that Arthur was stuck to his room for the day by King’s order so he could not check upon Merlin.</p><p>The next day, when he was finally able to get to the physician’s chamber, Merlin’s room was full. Morgana, Gwen, and Lancelot were there. Then there was the young beautiful girl he saw at the feast with them. Even Hunith was there.</p><p>He cringed at the way he acted. He controlled his emotions and said to Hunith, “Merlin is a loyal servant and would be rewarded for the bravery he had shown to the crown.”</p><p>Hunith had looked like as if she had been slapped but then she had bowed her head. Morgana had stared daggers at him. He made Merlin sound like a dispensible servant and not as the most important person in his life. With all these people surrounding Merlin, Arthur could not show his concern, and after gruffly asking about his manservant’s health he left. It was inexcusable but Arthur had to keep Merlin and Merlin’s secret safe.</p><p>Arthur was not even able to get a few minutes alone with Merlin over the next few days and then Gaius allowed Merlin to return to his home under the care of his mother. Even if he wanted, Arthur could not go and visit Merlin at his home.</p><p>----------------</p><p>A month later, Merlin was back. He woke Arthur up with his usual, “Rise and Shine” and then he carefully sat down. He was huffing. Arthur immediately got up and demanded, “Are you okay?”</p><p>Merlin smiled at him and said, “Obviously. I just have to get used to work after a month of rest.”</p><p>Then he turned to Arthur and asked, “Are you okay?”</p><p>Arthur frothed, “Are you serious? You imbecile. You are never supposed to do such a thing again. What foolishness prompted you to take the torture upon yourself? It is my duty to protect you and your duty to follow my command.”</p><p>Merlin gave him a sad smile and said, “That is the least I could do.”</p><p>Arthur demanded, “What does it mean” but Merlin never replied.</p><p>Soon after breakfast, Merlin left. He did not eat with Arthur but he made five lists of duties for those whom Merlin was in charge.</p><p>Things became normal again.</p><p>------------</p><p>A year after Merlin returned, Arthur was engaged to Princess Elena of Gawant. Elena was special. She befriended Merlin and Morgana. She had the knights wrapped around the fingers in no time.</p><p>During one of the many feasts that were arranged before their marriage, Arthur found himself close to Morgana’s group. Elena was chattering with Merlin, “So, Merlin I heard you are excited about the wedding and have already taken half the castle’s servants under your control to prepare for the wedding.”</p><p>Merlin smirked, “It's all part of my evil plan.”</p><p>Morgana snorted, “Evil plan, haha.”</p><p>Lancelot morosely said, “Yes, the plan is definitely evil. It will hurt almost everyone.”</p><p>Arthur was not affected by the words as much as the tone Lancelot used.</p><p>Elena demanded, “So, what does your evil plan constitute?”</p><p>Morgana replied, “Oh, Arthur made him in charge of his household until Arthur married. Once Arthur is married, Merlin will dump all his duties on you and he will be free.”</p><p>Elena confusingly inquired, “Free for what?”</p><p>The girl, Freya, who had somehow become a part of Morgana’s group said, “Gaius has accepted that Merlin is a physician in his own right. Now he can be a fulltime physician.”</p><p>Elena congratulated Merlin and asked, “So, will you become Gaius’ associate?”</p><p>Gwen softly said, “No. They plan to travel for the next few years.”</p><p>Arthur felt sick. Merlin planned to travel. He was leaving Camelot again.</p><p>Merlin interjected, “This is no time for such heavy topics. We are here to celebrate the upcoming wedding of Arthur and Elena and should focus on that.”</p><p>The others agreed as nothing much was said on the topic of Merlin leaving.</p><p>The next morning Arthur demanded, “Merlin what foolishness are you considering now? I heard you plan to go and travel.”</p><p>Merlin immediately changed the topic, “Hey, you will be married and Elena will be taking over all the responsibilities. It would be the best time for me to increase my exposure.”</p><p>Arthur wanted to shout and tell Merlin that this was only a marriage of convenience. There was nothing in this marriage for Arthur. He had been holding out for his soulmate.</p><p>All he could end up saying was, “Merlin, please don’t.”</p><p>Merlin looked at him strangely and then got up and left without a word.</p><p>Obviously, Arthur could not marry Elena after such a threat. Maybe Merlin did not understand as well as Arthur thought he did.</p><p>-----------------</p><p>Well not marrying Elena did not help. One morning Merlin was waking Arthur and the next morning he did not. Arthur ignored it for the day and when the next morning Merlin did not turn up he had a deja vu.</p><p>Arthur was getting late for the council session and when he reached the council room, his worst nightmare came true. Morgana, Gwen, Lancelot, and Merlin had all left. Lancelot, Merlin, and Gwen submitted their resignations but Morgana was nowhere to be found.</p><p>Gaius was not any help as he did not know much about their travel plans. Merlin’s house was empty and the neighbors told that Merlin’s family had a head start compared to the others. Merlin had sold the house about five days earlier when his family had left with Sir Gwaine.</p><p>None of the tracking parties could find out where they went. Arthur tried, Uther pushed but nothing turned up. There was no lead.</p><p>Finally, Arthur realized that his soulmate had deserted him once again.</p><p>--------------</p><p>Uther went mad and died within a year of Morgana’s desertion. Arthur was crowned the king but this was not how he envisioned it. Merlin was not there. Even Morgana, Gwen, Lancelot, and Gwaine were not there.       </p><p>Within a year, he had abolished the harsh laws against magic. He was hopeful that Merlin would return once he heard the news of the laws being changed.</p><p>A year passed and then another. His council was forcing him to marry. Arthur was twenty-nine years when he agreed to marry. He had to marry anyway. Camelot needed a queen. The preparations started and soon every eligible bachelor was being thrown at him. He decided on Princess Mithian. She was a good friend for the last five years. They both agreed it was a political marriage and their people would benefit.</p><p>Preparations were underway. He was leading the last training session of the day before he got engaged with the madness that his wedding preparations have become. Two men stepped onto the training ground. They were joking with Leon and Percival. Arthur's heart jumped. If they were here then so was Merlin. He rushed to them and after warmly greeting them he inquired, “Where is Merlin?”</p><p>Lancelot replied, “Oh, he went to meet Gaius. He should be in Gaius’ chamber.”</p><p>Arthur ran as fast as he could. There was no more need for secrecy. He could claim his soulmate now. He pushed open the door and saw Merlin. He and Gaius were talking while two children were playing around. Gaius never let children play in his chamber but he was looking at the two of them proudly.</p><p>Then the older one said, “Grandfather Gaius, I missed your stories. Can you tell us one now?”</p><p>Gaius chuckled and said, “Why not? I missed you guys too. I heard you guys have many adventures.”</p><p>The younger one piped, “Oh, we did. We had so many adventures with father and Mom Morgana.”</p><p>The older one said, “Uncle Gwaine and uncle Lancelot too.”</p><p>The younger one said, “But then mother, aunt Gwen, and aunt Elena would always admonish us as Uncle Gwaine and Uncle Lancelot could not keep any secrets from their soulmates.”</p><p>The younger one said, “Yes, Father and Mom Morgana was the best. They never let mother know anything about our adventures and if she got angry they could always control her.”</p><p>Whose children were these? He felt dread at the expected answer. Arthur did not like where this was going and so he made his presence known.</p><p>Merlin and Gaius turned to him. Merlin gave him one of those heart-melting smiles, “Arthur, it is so good to see you.”</p><p>Before Arthur could reply, the younger boy asked, “Father, is this Prince Arthur?”</p><p>Gaius clarified, “He is now King Arthur.”</p><p>Then the two boys looked at Arthur and the younger one said, “Father, is he the one who is your soulmate but you are not his?”</p><p>Merlin admonished, “Kevin what did I tell you about being rude. Such inquiries are rude.”</p><p>Merlin was the father of these two young boys. The older one must be eight years old and the younger one about six. When did he have the boys?</p><p>Then the question the young boy asked hit Arthur. Merlin believed he was Arthur’s soulmate but Arthur was not his. He believed Arthur had a different soulmate. It all clicked. Arthur shivered. He had done it. He had single-handedly destroyed his relation with Merlin. Why did he never affirm their relation over the past thirteen years?</p><p>He barked, “Merlin come with me. We need to discuss something important.”</p><p>Merlin looked at Gaius and then said, “Kids, be good for Grandpa Gaius. I will collect you after my meeting with the King.”</p><p>Then he followed Arthur to his room.</p><p>Arthur sat down on the chair and pointed to the other one for Merlin to sit.</p><p>Merlin sat down and smilingly asked, “So, what got your knickers in a twist, my lord.”</p><p>Arthur was not in the mood for the friendly banter. He said, “When did you stop believing we were soulmates?”</p><p>Merlin gasped and stuttered, “We are?”</p><p>Arthur gave him the look and then Merlin inquired, “Why did you not affirm it?”</p><p>Arthur laughed, “You were a servant, a man and you had magic. Not the best soulmate material for the prince.”</p><p>Merlin morosely said, “You know, I figured it out. I guessed that these were the reasons you were not acknowledging the bond or we did not have one. Over the years, the way you treated me helped enforce the idea that we did not have one. I dreamed of you but you did not dream of me. After some inquiry, I found out that your soulmate was a perfect princess. I knew I had drawn a short stick.”</p><p>Arthur barked, “I was protecting you. I could not have told my father that you were my soulmate. He would have banished you.”</p><p>Merlin nostalgically said, “You know for two years, I believed that. That you were protecting me in your own way. For two years, I held onto that belief, until it was shattered.”</p><p>Arthur hollowly asked, “How?”</p><p>Merlin quietly said, “You remember the incident where you were bewitched to fall for Vivian?”</p><p>Arthur nodded.</p><p>Merlin said, “I was hoping that my kiss would break the curse. However, it was Gwen’s kiss. You loved her. I, your soulmate had been in your company continuously for two years and you loved another. That only meant I was not your soulmate.”</p><p>Arthur shook his head, “I loved Gwen at a time before meeting you. Once I saw you, I have not loved anyone else.”</p><p>Merlin quietly said, “That might be true but you did not love me. I have heard tales of your sexual prowess. I knew you like females and I was a mistake. I was so jealous at the start.”</p><p>Arthur cried out, “There was no sex.”</p><p>Merlin looked at him in scorn and ignored his statement, “Don’t lie, Arthur.”</p><p>Arthur jumped up, “I am not lying. I never laid with a female. I did some experimentation but I was holding myself for you. However, there was never time for me to be safe with you. I could not let my guard down less you got executed or banished. Not that it helped as you left on your own twice.”</p><p>Merlin winced and then said, “I kept my virginity for the longest time. I too was waiting but by all rumors, you were enjoying pleasures of the flesh. You wanted nothing from me. You were rude and callous. I killed people to protect you and then I lost it. I was going mad. Not being able to claim my soulmate, not having a safety net, and not having support was crippling me.”</p><p>Arthur slowly said, “I am sorry.”</p><p>Merlin smiled, “Don’t be. Everything led me to Freya. Your disregard for our bond gave me the courage to leave. She needed me. I needed her. We were happy.”</p><p>Arthur pounded, “But you came back. Why did you leave again?”</p><p>-------------------------</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3: Merlin's POV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Merlin had bought his mother to help with his son, young Jacob. Freya could not look after him during the nights and Merlin had his duties. Sometimes he had to stay away at the village looking after his patients. Hunith was a doting grandmother and mother-in-law. She was sad that Merlin could not be with his Knight from Camelot however she was excited at this new prospect.</p><p>It took Merlin a little less than three years to break the curse on Freya. Once the curse was broken, Freya was elated. She would walk around the farms at night, cuddle with him and stay the whole night up looking at Jacob.</p><p>In one of their nightly discussion, Freya inquired about his soulmate. He told her everything truthfully. She was sad. Then she said, “It’s not like we could be with our soulmates. I know mine is in Camelot too and she too is rich. However, who would like to be with a monster. I have killed people and now I straddling you with me.”</p><p>Merlin shouted, “Freya, never say that again. You were cursed. You are not a monster. You gave me something my soulmate could never give. You gave me acceptance and love and now Jacob. I love you.”</p><p>Freya did not believe Merlin so Merlin bought her back to Camelot. They would find Freya’s soulmate and she would convince Freya that the latter was not a monster. Freya was self-conscious and did not make friends easily. Hunith supported her and while Merlin labored under Gaius and Arthur, the two ladies learned to live in the capital city.</p><p>Gwen was a sweetheart. Once she learned about Merlin’s family and wife, she immediately befriended Freya. She was a usual dinner guest at their humble abode. Then one day she bought Morgana with her. Morgana was feeling down and Gwen suggested that the King’s ward should accompany her to Merlin’s house for dinner. Morgana agreed. Merlin saw the recognition and how both Freya’s and Morgana’s face lightened up when they saw each other.</p><p>Morgana squealed and hugged Freya. Morgana was sobbing, “I was so afraid for you. I was sure someone would have killed you. I developed an irrational hatred for knights when they went out to hunts the beast. I wanted to come to you but I did not know where you were.”</p><p>Freya tentatively asked, “You did not hate me. I thought you would. You must have seen me kill innocent people.”</p><p>Morgana hugged Freya tighter and said, “Well, I did. I also saw it when you were cursed. I wanted to kill that witch. I could never hate you. You are my soulmate and I fell in love with you deeply every day.”</p><p>Freya stepped out of Morgana’s hug and said, “But now I am no good for you. I sought out companionship elsewhere. I married and have a son. I am sorry.”</p><p>Morgana laughed, “I have found you and that is enough. Whom did you marry?”</p><p>Freya blushingly said, “Merlin. He helped me escape from the slave trader and then we left Camelot. We comforted each other and then when I was pregnant he proposed. He did not want his child to be born out of wedlock.”</p><p>Morgana hugged Freya again, “ I understand. I would never blame you for any happiness. You deserve it. Can I meet your son?”</p><p>Hunith stepped forward and placed Jacob in Morgana’s hands. Merlin saw how love, at first sight, looked like. Morgana was not jealous of their son. She hugged Jacob and kissed him. Then she worriedly asked, “Freya, can he do magic like you?”</p><p>Freya proudly nodded, “Yes.”</p><p>Morgana shrieked, “We have to get him away from the citadel. We have to protect him. He is too precious to be burnt on the pyre by the like of Uther.”</p><p>She was getting hysterical when Merlin stepped forward and said, “I will protect my son, Morgana.”</p><p>She hotly asked, “And how will you do that? By throwing yourself at him.”</p><p>Merlin plucked up his courage and said, “Morgana, I too have magic. I am very powerful so I can protect my son, Freya, and you. I will even protect the young one.”</p><p>Morgana was quiet for few seconds and then she shrieked, “You have magic, why did you not tell me? I confided in you and you never told me.”</p><p>Merlin dejectedly said, “I am sorry. I was afraid at the time. I had much to lose by revealing my magic. Now, I will lose much if I hide my magic.”</p><p>She nodded and then exasperatedly asked, “What do you mean the young one.”</p><p>Merin blushed and Freya softly muttered, “I am expecting again.”</p><p>Morgana quickly hugged her again and said, “Freya, if you will have me, can I become a third tire in your happy household. I will never try to come between you and Merlin but I need to be with you. I will love your children like my own. I just never thought we could have children. However, these are your children so they are mine and I want to love them and raise them with you.”</p><p>Then she turned to Merlin and said, “Not that I don’t want you there.”</p><p>Merlin laughed and said, “I was hoping Freya’s soulmate would agree to join our household. You don’t have to be with me. I just want Freya to have all the love. If you can love the children, well I will be glad. One can never have too much love.”</p><p>So, it was not surprising when Jacob started calling Morgana ‘Mom Morgana’. Morgana was over the moon. However, she wanted to leave Camelot. She did not want anything to hurt Jacob. She forced Merlin and Gaius to teach her magic. She became Merlin’s apprentice and the two would be together all the time practicing magic.</p><p>Morgana’s and Merlin’s relation never turned sexual. Freya bridged the gap between them. Freya did not forsake Merlin.</p><p>So, as soon as Kevin showed the first sign of magic, Morgana started pestering him to leave Camelot. One night they had a shouting match. Morgana screamed, “You case about Arthur too much. Did you not see how he treated you callously after you bore the entire torture? He will never love you. Even now he is chasing after petticoats. Why do you want to risk everyone for him? Merlin, you have to think about Jacob, Kevin, Freya, and me.”</p><p>Merlin was sad when his suspicions were confirmed but he asked, “Will you be happy leaving everything behind? Leaving Gwen behind?”</p><p>Morgana yelled, “Gwen agreed to come with us, you idiot.”</p><p>Merlin shouted, “Gwen will not be happy without Lancelot.”</p><p>Obviously, things were not as easy as it seemed. Gwen wanted to stay close to Morgana so Lancelot agreed to ride out with them. Gwaine and Princess Elena of Gawant found out they were soulmates so they had to somehow abduct Princess Elena from her castle.</p><p>All in all, some plans were hurriedly made and they all left. Merlin ensured no one would be able to follow them. They had three years of bliss and contentment. They lived at their old home of the mountain slope for six months and then all of them did end up traveling the world. It was surprisingly safe as well. Between Gwaine’s and Lancelot’s swords, and Morgana’s, Freya’s and Merlin’s magic nothing was a threat to them. Hunith, Freya, Gwen, and Elena ensured the kids were safe and protected at all times.</p><p>However, then as luck would have it Elena, Freya, and Gwen all became pregnant about the same time. After much discussion, it was decided that they all would return to Camelot for two years until the kids were born and stable before they went on wild goose chase again.</p><p>--------  </p><p>What Merlin was not expecting was Arthur to confirm the connection. He did not believe it. He was shock and numb. How could Arthur do this to him after all this time?</p><p>He told Arthur the abridged version of their story. Arthur was extremely angry. He demanded, “How could you marry?”</p><p>Merlin started laughing, “Arthur, you told me you will marry for political reasons. What future did I have with you? Nothing. No children and no stability. I would have been your secret. I had tried to keep a part of my life secret and I did not like it. I did not want it. So, I opted to marry the one whom I loved. Even now Camelot is preparing to have you married.”</p><p>Arthur snarled, “It is my duty to marry for the good of Camelot.”</p><p>Merlin softly said, “I know that and I accepted it. It was also my duty to my dragon lord lineage to marry. My sons will be dragon lords after me. I am not asking anything from you and don’t ask anything from me.”</p><p>Arthur was shocked but he said, “I want to meet your entire party for dinner tonight.”</p><p>Merlin sighed and agreed. Then he excused himself as he had to get his sons from Gaius. Nothing good would come out of this. Arthur had too much baggage and so did Merlin.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4: Arthur's POV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arthur was bristling when Merlin left. Merlin was not excited about them being soulmates. It felt like Merlin was weary and did not need Arthur anymore.</p><p>Arthur had waited thirteen years to be in control. He had made Camelot safe for Merlin but in the process, he had lost Merlin. He had kept Merlin safe and Merlin had kept him safe. However, it seems like in the process he had lost his soulmate.</p><p>Arthur knew he had to take some drastic actions or he will lose Merlin forever. The safe choice of wedding Mithian and keeping Merlin on the side was no more available. Merlin was no more the seventeen years old peasant boy who was besotted with his soulmate and who would have done anything for his soulmate. Somewhere in the last thirteen years, Arthur had crushed the naivety of his soulmate.</p><p>Before Uther had died, the former King had revealed that Morgana was his daughter and Arthur’s half-sister. This added another level of complexity as Merlin was in relation with Morgana’s soulmate. He had a pretty difficult time breathing. He was so close to losing Merlin and all because he did not trust his own soulmate to keep himself safe.</p><p>-------------    </p><p>That night he had dinner with Merlin’s party. Hunith was reserved with Arthur. Arthur knew he had lost the respect of his soulmate’s mother when he treated Merlin as a disposable servant all those years ago.</p><p>Morgana reached out but somehow Arthur felt that she was nervous. Lancelot, Gwen, and Gwaine were their usual self. Elena met him like an old friend. Freya was polite but did not take part in any discussion. She held Morgana’s hand throughout the dinner. Merlin himself was a bit nervous until the children remained in Arthur’s room but as soon as Gaius and Hunith left with the children, Merlin showed his cheery bubbly personality.</p><p>Arthur felt another level of dread. Neither his soulmate nor his sister trusted him. Even though Arthur had changed the laws of Camelot for Merlin, Merlin did not trust Arthur with his children’s safety. Once, Freya, Gwen, and Elena called it a night, even Morgana lost her twitchiness. It gave Arthur much to think about.</p><p>------------      </p><p>The next morning he sent his manservant to invite Morgana for lunch.</p><p>During lunch, Arthur said, “Morgana congratulations on finding your soulmate. Though you held out on me and did not introduce her to me.”</p><p>Morgana negated, “When I found her, the climate of Camelot was not conducive. It took me a year to convince Merlin to leave then, but I think I made the right decision.”</p><p>Arthur controlled his temper, “You know Merlin is my soulmate.”</p><p>Morgana scoffed, “Come on Arthur, you did not even acknowledge him for a decade. You lied about your soulmate. Ask anyone and they will claim your soulmate is Princess Mithian or some other unknown princess.”</p><p>Arthur shrugged, “I was protecting him from father.”</p><p>Morgana laughed, “That’s a lie. Merlin did not need your protection. He protected you more than you could ever protect Merlin. You were running from your responsibility to your mate.”</p><p>Arthur negated, “Never. I did everything to ensure Merlin was safe.”</p><p>Morgana sadly said, “Then all your efforts were futile. For all I know, your soulmate suffered because you decline him. He had to protect you from the shadows. He was emotionally fragile because you did not acknowledge the bond. He was just a peasant, he was forced to kill for you and no one was there to understand him, to become his strength. Don’t tell me you protected him because you did not.”</p><p>When things were put that way, it felt really bad. However, that was not what Arthur desired. He whispered, “My father would have him executed. He was a man, a peasant, and a sorcerer.”</p><p>Morgana snarled, “Who said you had to tell Uther? He was your manservant, you could have taken him in your confidence. You knew about his magic. Why did you not accept it and tell him it was okay. You were flirting with everyone but your soulmate was spending hours in stocks or mucking the stables. Come on Arthur, even a child can tell you rejected him until it suited you.”</p><p>Arthur pleaded, “I did not. I could never. I was a shell of a person when he left.”</p><p>Morgana looked gentle for a second before her resolve strengthened, “Yes, you were missing him deeply. I saw how you were affected but I was amongst the few who saw it. Arthur, I beg you. Please let bygones be bygones. Please don’t destroy my family.”</p><p>Arthur inquired, “Your family?”</p><p>Morgana sternly said, “My family. I have a family with Merlin and Freya. Jacob and Kevin are my children as much as they are Merlin’s as my soulmate carried them.”</p><p>Arthur was confused so he asked, “So, how does Freya’s carrying them make them your children?”</p><p>Morgana snorted, “You really had no idea. My father told me once that when two soulmates are of the same gender then the natural-born kids of one soulmate also have the DNA of the other soulmate. Gaius confirmed it. Geoffery confirmed it. You know your grandfather King Theroin was not the natural-born son of King Carlus but the son of his soulmate. So, Jacob and Kevin are my children, they have my essence.”     </p><p> Arthur was amazed for a few minutes and then he asked, “Are you sure?”</p><p>Morgana nodded, “Yes, you can ask Geoffry or Gaius or the older lords with same-sex soulmates. Everyone would confirm it.”</p><p>Arthur uncertainly asked, “That would make Kevin and Jacob my children as well.”</p><p>Morgana stood up quickly and hissed, “Think along those lines and I will slit your throat. You have no claim on them. They are our children. You refused the bond. There is no relation between Merlin and you. Stay away from my family. I knew it was a bad idea coming to Camelot. We are here till Freya, Elena and Gwen give birth. Then we will leave. I will ensure you never see us again. Till then stay away from us.”</p><p>Then she left before Arthur could tell her about their familial connection.</p>
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